My Post Baby Bathing Suit Body

I wore a bathing suit for the first time in a long time today. We are on a family trip and I didn’t even bother to pack my bikini because I am so use to being on the sideline with my four month old. After the guys spent two hours in the pool yesterday I realized I wouldn’t get to spend much time with them if I wasn’t willing to get a little wet. So today I went to an overpriced tourist swim shop and purchased a bathing suit. I was pressed for time and they didn’t have a lot in my size so this is what I got. It’s not the most flattering but it covers my ass and that is what I needed.

When I put it on, my kids were so happy. My four year old told me that I looked fancy. Which made me feel special. We went to the beach and I actually got in the water!

I am writing this as a recommitment to myself to do what I want to do and wear what I feel comfortable in. It seems like an obvious thing to do but even I allow my body to limit my activities. So I am happy to say that I’m off the sideline and in the game wearing my not so flattering bathing suit, but my team doesn’t care so I am ok with it.

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My Post Baby Body Journey- 3 Months Postpartum

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3 months postpartum

Mind: Mentally, I am doing a lot better. I feel like myself again and thankfully, my hormones have settled out. I have returned to my regular anxieties like, when will I ever have time to get my house together? When will my 4 year old be done with this “butt, butt, fart, fart, fart” phase? When will I be able to go to a movie again? How am I going to say bye to my happy little baby boy when it is time to go back to work? Do I have any clean underwear? You know, the regular mom stuff. My entire family is home for the summer for the first time ever, all day every day so I am still experiencing more stress than usual and I have my good days and my bad. The difference now is that when I have a low day I am able to bounce back the next.

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I  lost my edges!

Body: My body hasn’t changed much from when I was one month postpartum. I think this is the size I am going to be for a while and I’m ok with that. Physically, I feel myself. I am not one hundred percent ready to be as active as I am use to but I have been dancing more with my boys and did hit the gym once. Yes, just once, lol. As always, breastfeeding has become a large part of my life. It really is a job in itself. This time around however, I discovered a lump in my boob that had to be checked out. According to my doctor, due to postpartum hormones, lumps have to be monitored more closely because cancer can spread more quickly. It turns out that my lump was just a milk cyst which was relieving. What is crazy is that I remember that I was in a lot of pain just a few months ago but I can’t remember what that pain felt like. The human body is such an amazing thing! Oh, and I lost my edges. My hairline is not quite what it use to be but I have experienced this before so I am hoping my hair grows back in a timely fashion. 

Soul: My little one is so cute and cuddly and amazing and just the full embodiment of love that he makes me feel like I am floating sometimes. My middle son however, is really struggling emotionally not having as much attention as he did before which makes things challenging to say the least. I just want to do right by all of my kids and I don’t feel like I am doing the best job right now so that is really wearing on my soul.  

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3 months postpartum

Thank you for following my postpartum journey. While I am sure there will be more that I would like to share with you all, this will be the last post of this series. I think I am getting back to a place where I can return to doing my My Post Baby Body Mama photo shoots so stay tuned!

My Post Baby Body Journey – 1 Month Postpartum

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1 Month Postpartum

My mind: At times I feel like I have lost it. While physically I’m feeling about 85% back to where I was before I was pregnant, mentally I haven’t been feeling myself. I’ve been having hella mood swings and my husband is having a hard time dealing with them. It’s like I lost the ability to bite my tongue and all the little things that I usually let go, I just don’t. Before I can stop myself, I hear things come out of my mouth that I usually keep to myself and I’m very unapologetic about it which leads to some unpleasant exchanges. There’s also the tears. I cry for no reason and a whole bunch of reasons at the same time. I’ll be reading something or thinking about something and the tears will just come out of my eyes. It’s frustrating not feeling like myself. I have always been someone who needs to keep busy to be happy, sitting idle just allows my mind to go to wild places so being on maternity leave without work to stimulate me while also being too tired to really work on any projects any way is difficult. The weather is becoming more spring like however, so that should help me get out more and raise those serotonin levels.

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1 Month Postpartum

My body: The soreness is pretty much gone. My pelvic floor is back in action and I even did a 3 mile hike! I am no longer reliant on pain medication to get me through the day and night. Woohoo! My stomach has gone down a lot but I wouldn’t be surprised if it stops shrinking, this might just be how my body is from now until who knows? I should mention for about a week I would wake up in the middle of the night with a crazy throbbing headache. These headaches were the worst headaches I have every experienced in my life. I’m not being dramatic when I say that I thought I was dying, that’s just how bad that they were. They went away with some pain medicine and my doctor told me that they could be caused by sleep deprivation, but ruled out any relation the headaches could have had to my epidural because they didn’t feel better when I would lay down. I guess epidural related headaches feel better when one lays down (fun fact). I think I was just dehydrated and sleep deprived. I started focusing more on drinking water and sleeping and they went away. My boobs still hurt from time to time because breastfeeding causes a lot of things to happen to one’s boobs.

My soul: I’m just hella tired. My soul is tired. Still overwhelmed with love for my family just feeling a bit low sometimes as I mentioned before.

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1 Month Postpartum