Father’s Day Reflections: 3 Examples of Father’s Appreciating the Post Baby Body


I was watching E! Network’s “Botched” the other night (the only plastic surgery show that I watch) and at the end, the husband of the woman who received the plastic surgery said, “I love the way she looks. I have always loved the way that she looks. I just hope she is happier with her appearance now.” That statement sounded really familiar to me and I realized that statement is often said on “Botched” and other makeover shows and for the most part, the men sound sincere. There is a similar sentiment that I found amongst the My Post Baby Body mama’s partners. The partners I have met are supportive of their spouses and genuinely seem to appreciate their post baby bodies. So, to honor Father’s Day I have decided to acknowledge the examples set by these magnificent men and other men who are champions for the post baby body.

Example #1: Plies

Plies is a Florida born rapper known for his gold grill, misogyny and a few hits from the mid 2000’s. Nevertheless, he has 3.9million followers on Instagram and posted this last April:


While this post may be where my appreciation for Plies starts and stops, I do want to salute him for praising the post baby body and opening a dialogue with men about how they view post baby bodies. His post garnered 10k comments and although, I could not sift through all of them, I can say that generally women felt affirmed by Plies’ post and a significant amount of men agreed with him-even giving special shout outs to the mother of their children, appreciating their post baby bodies. I found the shout outs especially sweet :).

Example #2: Anonymous Texas Husband

This husband who shall remain anonymous had some helpful feedback for Victoria Halton of Victoria Caroline Photography in San Antonio, Texas, after he received very edited boudoir photos of his wife. She posted his letter to Facebook and this is what he had to say:

“Hi Victoria,


I am (blank)’s husband, ********. I am writing to you because I recently received an album containing images you took of my wife. I don’t want you to think that I am in any way upset with you….but I have some food for thought that I would like to pass on to you. I have been with my wife since we were 18 years old, and we have two beautiful children together. We have had many ups and downs over the years, and I think…well, actually I KNOW that my wife did these pictures for me to “spice things up”. She sometimes complains that I must not find her attractive, that she wouldn’t blame me if I ever found someone younger. When I opened the album that she gave to me, my heart sank. These pictures…while they are beautiful and you are clearly a very talented photographer….they are not my wife. You made every one of her “flaws” disappear…and while I’m sure this is exactly what she asked you to do, it took away everything that makes up our life. When you took away her stretch marks, you took away the documentation of my children. When you took away her wrinkles, you took away over two decades of our laughter, and our worries. When you took away her cellulite, you took away her love of baking and all the goodies we have eaten over the years. I am not telling you all of this to make you feel horrible, you’re just doing your job and I get that. I am actually writing you to thank you. Seeing these images made me realize that I honestly do not tell my wife enough how much I LOVE her and adore her just as she is. She hears it so seldom, that she actually thought these photoshopped images are what I wanted and needed her to look like. I have to do better, and for the rest of my days I am going to celebrate her in all her imperfectness. Thanks for the reminder.



This man makes it clear that he loves his wife and all of her “imperfectness” because it is those imperfections that make her who she is. So while his wife felt the need to edit out her stretch marks, wrinkles and cellulite, her husband views them as mementos of their life together. This is just one man’s perspective but I am sure he is not the only man who shares these body positive feelings, which brings me to example #3.

Example #3: My Husband and Other MyPostBabyBody Mamas’ Partners


My husband, Anthony is my number one fan and has been incredibly supportive of both my post baby body and MyPostBabyBody.org. All that he asks is that he gets to see me in my photo shoot lingerie in person before I post the pictures. Throughout our entire relationship, which spans 13 years, he has made me feel nothing but beautiful and sexy. I have always been the one in the relationship who has felt otherwise at times. I find the same rings true with a lot of the partners of the my post baby body mamas. They proudly attend photo shoots and MyPostBabyBody events and are genuinely supportive. The only complaint that I have heard is that they wish they got to see more of their partner’s post baby bod ;).

The Father’s Day takeaway here is that with the exception of some jerks out there, men generally appreciate the post baby body and it is our own insecurities, at times, that keep us from being the confident, sexy, gorgeous mamas that we are! So let this be a reminder to all you mamas out there, to own your body and your beauty.


In closing, I would like to wish a very happy Father’s Day to all of the post baby body loving dads out there! You love our bodies even when we don’t and for that we love you just that much more.

Mandate Fully Paid Parental Leave Now.


San Francisco just became the first US city to mandate 6 weeks full paid parental leave. Yay! But wait, have you seen a 6 week old? In their 6th week babies are right in the middle of their 4th trimester. They are still very dependent on their caretakers and prefer to be with them all-of-the-time! While this is a step in the right direction, allow me to explain why paid parental leave should be much longer based on my own experience as a working mother.

With both of my children I stayed off from work for about four months. With both of my children my family suffered financially as a result of me staying out past the six weeks that were paid. My husband and I were in a situation where we were paying all these expenses for an entire new human being and then had to figure out how to pay for childcare which at the time seemed impossible (to read more about my feelings in regards to preschool and childcare costs click here). All this is happening mind you, while my hormones were still trying to figure shit out, I was more exhausted than I had ever been, boobs were leaky and then there was the impending separation anxiety. Somehow I overcame  all of this because, well, I had no choice really and took my ass back to work only to find that my check at the end of the month was a fifth of what it usually was because they had finally got around to deducting money from the time I was out. Five months passed before my checks were back to normal again.

family 2

I share this not to attract pity and be all like, “woe is me”. I’m sharing this because my husband and I earn a middle income wage and struggled financially from our family leaves. How are lower income families suppose to survive? What are single parents suppose to do? According to The Guardian, “The US is the only developed country that doesn’t guarantee paid maternity or parental leave to workers.” Why come America? Sweden offers 480 days! Every other “developed” country offers at least 12 weeks. That means on average the US offers half the paid leave that other “developed” countries do. This is unacceptable. Our families and children deserve more.
I find it funny that with all of the issues swirling around in our country from educating marginalized communities to anxiety and depression there has not been much attention brought to this fundamental solution of allowing families to be at home with their children during the most developmentally rich time of their lives. It leads me to believe that either our leaders are just incompetently negligent when it comes to the needs of working families, our legislators haven’t evolved from the times where households were led by a single breadwinner or there is not much interest in dismantling systems that perpetuate classism and racism and limit upward mobility. Actually maybe it is all of the above and while there are a million issues that we need to organize and put energy towards, I believe it would benefit us to use the momentum sparked by New York and San Francisco’s mandated full paid parental leave and demand more mandated time and money to care for our babies. I know it’s cliche` but they are our future.