My first thought after I agreed to be a part of this project was “What in the hell did I just do?” My next thought was “Which one of my mommy friends can I get to do it with me?” I thought taking pictures, in front of strangers, in my bra and panties, POST baby number 4, was nerve racking. I was wrong. Having to choose which bra and panty picture to post on social media absolutely proved to be way more terrifying. But I did it. And for that I’m proud.
My post baby body differs from pre-baby body in that I’m definitely about 80 pounds heavier. The 80 pounds isn’t distributed as evenly as I would have hoped for but it’s all mine! And I own it! I guess I didn’t really begin to own it until after I hemmed and hawed through the photos from this shoot. To be honest, I will say I wasn’t the most pleased with how I look in my photos because in my head I didn’t really “see” everything I was seeing in the photos. But there I was, for me and all of social media to see. I procrastinated getting my essay to the group, picking my pictures, and just avoiding it all together. Hoping that maybe it would go away. Just like the weight. What I know has helped me was looking at all the other mommies who were/are in my same state of mind about their own body, knowing I’m not alone, and knowing that I have four healthy beautiful children that came from me. Allowing myself to be human, accepting all of me, and realizing that if I wanted to I can change how I feel about myself but it will have to come from within me first.
Post baby bodies are resilient, stronger than you think, and so forgiving. Just taking it one day at a time is my knew goal.