I wouldn’t say that I love my body. I love myself and the body I am in but the physical look of my body I always felt was average. I always felt like I needed a little more butt, a little more hips, a little more fat. I guess I had that skinny girl syndrome where I always felt like I needed to gain weight. So when I got pregnant and began to put on a few pounds I was happy. The weight completely fell off after Zoe, my daughter, was born and I returned to the body that I had before pregnancy, the one that received comments about being too skinny and I didn’t like that. It wasn’t until a few months postpartum that I felt more satisfied with my body. The point where I felt snug in a pair of jeans.
My post baby body and pre- baby body are pretty much the same. I feel like I had more mental changes than physical changes. My mental changes were that my body had to be used as source of food which was something I wasn’t use to. I thought it would be rewarding and it would feel good but I didn’t expect feeling guilty about not liking some aspects of it. I didn’t like that I couldn’t ask for help. It was solely on me. I couldn’t schedule it. I am a very structured and schedule person. It was very life changing to be able to provide something for somebody on demand.
During pregnancy I noticed that my butt got flatter and I was really self conscious about it throughout my whole pregnancy. It wasn’t an issue besides having to be prepared for comments that my husband would say. When I would look in the mirror I would focus on my baby bump but wouldn’t look at the rest of my body. Once I gave birth I had a dream that my butt was going to come back but that didn’t happen. I didn’t care about anything else but my butt because that was the most notable change about my body besides my belly being gone.
When it comes to my body I always subscribe to the notion that it can always be worse. It can be better but it can also be worse and this is the body I have. Like I am not rich, I could have more money but I could also have less, just be happy with where you are.
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